Dear Readers…
(I am being arrogant and assuming there are more than one of you…)
So, my life is not that exciting. It definitely isn't as amusing as a certain auburn-haired, Irish-Italian newlywed, whose blog has inspired me to attempt to be witty and start my own, challenging me to use my brain for something other than remembering the water-to-powder ratio for baby formula, or guesstimating how many chicken nuggets my kids will eat at lunch. But, I DO spend all day at home, raising two 2 year-olds, and a 7 month old, so things CAN get a bit hectic and/or crazy.
Take, for example, today, when my son Chris came up to me and begged for more snack. Now, he was polite about it - he did his usual, "More more snack, PLEEEEEEEASE!" Normally, I would praise his unprompted manners by dropping a few more Cheerios into the empty bowl he now held out to me in his outstretched hands. However, today, I noticed that he was sputtering out this kind request with food on his tongue, and Eau de Cracker wafting from his mouth. I was immediately terrified.
Why? you ask. The answer is simple - not only had snack been over for more than an hour, but THEY HADN'T HAD CRACKERS FOR SNACK.
This begs the question - WHERE did said mysterious cracker come from? So, I ask, trying to steady my panicked voice, "Chris, where did you get that cracker?" while frantically searching the immediate vicinity for a probably now-mashed sleeve of Saltines one of my two lovelies pilfered from the kitchen, only to have a blank stare given back as his answer.
The only probable answer to this conundrum is that he found a rogue cracker SOMEWHERE in the play area from who-knows-when and decided to devour it. Sigh.
In addition to this, today, C&C decided they wanted to wear capes. Okay, I'm down. So I tied blankets around their necks (they wouldn't let me use clothespins, the widely, and most, accepted way to make a blanket or towel cape) and they proceeded to run circles around the dining room table shouting, "SUPER WHY!" Now, while I applaud their creativity, and exercise, I was also struck with confusion.
Why? you ask again. Because, although they used "Super Why" appropriately, as this show has a caped crusader as its star, I know for a fact they have never seen this show. Odd.
Whilst the laps around the table continued, I sat back and watched, even video taped a bit. Eventually, the capes were shed, and they continued to run, now just dragging the blanket behind them. Immediately, my overactive imagination began doing overtime, and I pictured one of their blankets getting caught under the table, or on a chair, and pulling one of them down, inevitably causing said child to cut open their head upon impact with the wall or other furniture.
Before you think I'm crazy, let me assure you, it gets worse. While visions of blood spurting from head wounds and broken limbs dance in my head, I began trying to calculate in my head how long it will take Jason to get home from work so I can take Wounded Child to the ER for stitches. Would it be best to just call 911? Should I call a family friend who lives closer instead to watch the uninjured kids?
Mind you, NOTHING dangerous has occurred. By the time these insane and somewhat irrational (okay COMPLETELY irrational) thoughts have managed to materialize and take shape, C&C have moved on from their un-caped, blanket dragging madness and begun doing something else.
What was Connor doing while all this craziness was going on? you ask...he was "pigs in a blanket"ing himself...observe...
Such is the glamorous (and yes, Fergie just helped me spell that correctly…) life I lead with my brood…
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