Ozzy...Adam Lambert...Christopher Hoffman???

Hello Readers -

Today I was faced with a challenge that all parents of boys AND girls must inevitably face at some point.  I am talking about gender roles.

At age 2, my kids obviously haven't developed an understanding of what is "socially acceptable" for boys vs. girls.  This is fine.  I have no problem with Chris stealing Courtney's tea set to host a tea party, nor do I have issue with Courtney racing cars around the living room going, "Vroom!"  

To me, these experiences shape and help my kids understand the world and I want to give them as much exposure to different things as possible.  I never want to pidgeon-hole them into liking something simply because it is acceptably "boy" or "girl," though I DO want to give them the opportunity to be "boyish" or "girlish" where appropriate.  If Courtney wants to play My Little Pony - fine!  If she wants to play cars, that's fine too.  And the same goes for Chris.

Today, Courtney wanted me to paint her toenails.  I have done this before, and Chris didn't care.  I cringed that first time, bracing for the forthcoming "Chris' turn!" that actually never came.  If he were to ask me to paint his toenails, do I do it?  Do I say, "Screw societal stereotypes, he's 2!  It's no big deal!" or do I try and explain that girls get their nails polished and boys don't, knowing full well that this is a lie.  I also fleeting, at the time, thought about what Hubs would say, coming home from work.  "WHY does my son have purple toes?!"

LIke I said, though, the demand for me to paint Chris' nails never came, and I secretly breathed out a little.  

And then today happened.

Chris not only wanted me to paint his toenails, but he also picked out a stunning teal green.  I was torn.  Do I paint them nor not?!

I consider myself an very liberal person in this area - if guys want to paint their nails, whatever.  And I know that me painting Chris' nails doesn't "make him gay" or whatever stupid thoughts people have.  Remember, I am the one who is constantly and sternly telling Hubs that no matter what, we love our kids and support them.  (He doesn't fight me on this, don't misunderstand me.  It's usually me declaring this, and him laughing at me.)

But back to my dilemma.  

I painted Courtney's toes a lovely deep purple with sparkles, and she was happy.

All the while, Chris was in my ear, repeating, "Koffer turn!  Koffer turn!" ("Christopher's turn…")  So when I finished her nails, I thought long and hard.  Then I tried to reason with Chris.

"What if we just do one nail?" 

He looked at me skeptically.  I chose the pinky nail (It IS the smallest) and went ahead and slapped a coat of teal on it.  Chris began to whine as I capped the nail polish bottle.

"What's the matter, sweetie?" I asked.  He managed to eek out,

"Other toes!"

I realized then I had no choice but to finish.  

"You want Mommy to paint all of your toes green?" I asked.  He shook his head.

"Purple!" he declared.  "Sissy!"

"You want them purple like Sissy's?"  He nods fervently.  

So, I take a deep breath and dive in.  I did it.  I painted all 10 of his toenails sparkly plum, just like Sissy's.  And he was ecstatic.

Yes, these are CHRIS' feet...

Seeing his happiness, I felt embarrassed by my pause.  It's NAIL POLISH, not a tattoo.  It comes off, and judging by how quickly Courtney's wore off last time, I REALLY have no need to worry.  I felt ashamed of myself for even worrying about it - he's TWO.  He hasn't even realized that his parts are different from his sisters.  

But you know what I learned about myself during this process?  That even if he was 15, and asked me paint his nails, I would do it. Because at the end of the day, I love him - no matter what color his toenails are.